Unit II: War, Journey, and Ethics

Masculinity in the Face of Conflict

It was almost entirely out of place in this unit that of all the things that could have stuck out to me when reading tales of war and violence was a characters feelings. They really are important, I promise you. Between the homosexual undertones in the Epic of Gilgamesh and the quiet moment Hector has before the events of the Iliad, it’s astounding to me, as a reader, how emotional these men get in cultures where ideas masculinity didn’t involve much feeling.

Starting with Hector and his addition in the Iliad, the reader shares a gentle moment with the solider in the safety of his home. There he says goodbye to his wife and infant in a scene so gut wretchedly real that the reader is struck with the image of a father that will not return after he steps foot into the streets of Troy. The baby begins to cry when they see their father wearing his helmet, when they see a face they cannot recognize under a mask of metal. But once Hector takes it off does the baby become calm once more and the couple share a laugh. We can not only feel Hector’s reluctance to leave, forever, but his made up mind, his duty that he must go. That if he doesn’t, his wife and child will face the same fate as him. It’s soft and somber, and we are suddenly aware that every solider cut down in the Iliad are not just war machines but people. Homes and families are often forgotten in the face of violence so explicitly depicted in a work such as the Iliad, but what it does different is stretching that detail in battle to every corner of empty homes or the tear streaked across a family members face when they see their, son, husband, partner, dragged through the streets of their city, bloody and broken.

On the other end of the spectrum, in the Epic of Gilgamesh we see a relationship bloom in the light of terrible times that most would label “bromance” but not on this blog, not today, not ever.

Enkidu and Gilgamesh, two of the same and yet there’s just something more. From enemies to friends to partners, we see a relationship between two men that we would never see in modern media without ridicule from every corner of every conservative home. Not to point fingers but, the obvious has now been thoroughly stated. The two bond so much in the time we see them shift gears. Enkidu, who was made to essentially destroy Gilgamesh, not only learns from the other man but teaches him as well. And then we experience such a suffocating level of devastation on Gilgamesh’s part when Enkidu passes. Not in battle but in sickness. He watches Enkidu suffer and lose a little more life everyday. 2 parts God, 1 part Man. 2 parts Beast, 1 part Man. The two were made for each other, they understood each other like no one else did and for the reality of death to strike down not both but one of them is chilling. Men that could not be scratched by the Bull of Heaven and openly challenging the Gods, well, to be taken down by something so human is poetic. Just as their relationship was. Everything about their dynamic is suddenly fragile. Every moment they spent with one another just a memory now, no journey to continue together. Gilgamesh not only mourns but becomes so utterly lost. It’s painful. He becomes not himself, like he could never return to being himself after his Enkidu’s death.

It was interesting to see the men depicted in these stories as strong, independent, brave and trusted, then succumbing to such powerful emotional circumstances. Often, modern masculinity will gloss over the topic of emotion if it has anything to do with sadness, fear, or even happiness in some cases. Society has created this box men are raised in from day one to, “conceal, don’t feel” and they are unable to express certain emotions without ridicule from others. Men are not allowed to cry, be scared, shed a a goddamn tear when their happy, and for what? An image constructed years ago that masculinity is none of these things? I think not. If a man going to war to inevitably die in battle can cry with his wife and kiss his child goodbye is not masculine enough, then you don’t know the meaning of the word. If a man can mourn his friend with tears and lingering kiss on the forehead of his dead body is not masculine enough, then you don’t know the meaning of the word. If men cannot feel anything but anger and pride then your idea of masculinity is lacking everything that makes anyone human.